Friday, June 27, 2003


(WASHINGTON, DC-THE MALL) The North State Flood advances in another grueling victory on the National Mall. Challenged by tourists, tents, Scottish music, and 90 degree plus temperatures, the North State Flood emerged victorious in a 27 - 11 bout with the #174 ranked Uninformed Consent. With this victory, the Flood retain the #6 spot out of 185 teams in the Congressional Softball League.

“It was a challenging game and the Lord saw fit to let us whoop ‘em like a pack of rented mules,” exclaimed Flood Pitcher Lance “Umpire” Leggitt. Leggitt faced 38 batters in six innings, pitching a 16-hitter and only allowing 5 earned runs for his 8th recorded win of the season.

“I had complete faith in the team to not [expletive] up anymore,” stated Coach Adam “Governor” Paulson. “The fear of the mask has resulted in much smoother playing all around.”

The Flood started the 1st inning with a bit of shaky playing as the Uninformed Consent capitalized on a 2-run throwing error by Flood outfielder Bert “Have You Met My Girlfriend” English, but quickly retaliated with 6 runs of their own.

Flood Leadoff Hitter Greg “Boom-Boom” Rodriguez chose to hit a homerun to set the pace in the bottom half of the inning, rather than opting for the customary base hit. Boom-Boom Rodriguez went 3-5 for the night, with multiple RBI’s, a homer and a pair of long fly-outs that would have cleared any park with a fence.

Flood outfielder and leading defensive player “Dancing” Gene Glowatch followed Boom-Boom Rodriguez’ lead going 4-4 with consistent base hitting. Flood newcomer Anja “VAWA” Kelsey stated, “This was much more fun than losing with Yier’s team [Natural Disasters].”

Solid run production in the 2nd inning nearly secured a win outright for the Flood. After pulling ahead 11-4, 1st Basemen Heather “Pickles” Lyons threw down the gauntlet stating, “It’s in the bag.” Lyons proceeded to back up her challenge going 4-4, including a triple and an opposite field line drive off the shift.

Veteran 1st Basecoach Ryan “Hold Here” Travis redeemed himself with stellar fielding and hitting, going 3-4 with the team’s only other triple. Intern Lori reported, “that Ryan guy sure get’s picked on a lot. I suppose it’s because he’s tougher than most kids. I even saw him blocking balls with his body before the game.”

After rounding out a solid 6 innings, the Flood prevailed 27-11. Uninformed Consent spokesman Steve “Recall” Cima stated, “The Flood were harder than Arnold Schwarzeneggar’s pecs!”Props to Uninformed Consent for filling in after Shays & Johnson backed out on us. Major thanks to Intern John for holding the field for 6 hours and facing the threat of heat exhaustion and boredom. Recognition to Jason “The Hulk” Brown for the only dive to 3rd base; Ryan “Anchorman” Swole for the only slide tackle this year, and Lise “Not E-4” Lynam for the great video replays. For the record, those Damn Yankees passed the pitcher early. I would also like to thank our thousands of fans for their constant support and for facing rain and heat and bugs to watch us play. While I would like to point them all out by name, there are just too many to thank, but they know who they are (that’s you , Michelle).

Next game is scheduled against the GPO Sluggers at 6:30pm on the Mall. We are taking a week off in recognition of our Nation’s birth. Lise will be scheduling infield practice for the week.

News of the Week: Steve Thompson who will be returning to the States in August. -- FLOOD

Thursday, June 26, 2003

Friendly reminder--we have a game tomorrow against the Shay's Lounge and the Swinging Johnsons.

They are comprised mostly of hippies from Connecticut who think they are too good to include players from Rob Simmons office (and boy will they regret that mistake, eh). Game tomorrow at 6:30pm. Field location will be announced tomorrow.

Bert's Accurate Weather Report: Sunny with a chance of a thunderstorm tomorrow afternoon (what are the odds?).

FLOOD RAIN POLICY: lightning = bad

Thursday, June 19, 2003

GAME ON!!! -- Friendly reminder that we are playing TOMORROW at 6:30pm against Boehnerland. To answer the obvious question, there is no such place as "Boehnerland", but rather it is merely a play on words. You see, the Team Sponsor is Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) and as a member of the Trilateralist Commission, he is trying to take over the world, thus "Boehner-Land". Let's show these Nazi's that we can play ball.

They are sending someone to grab a field tomorrow but have asked for relief. Can anyone volunteer themselves or an intern? If you have not already, let me know if you are playing tomorrow.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003


(WASHINGTON, DC-THE MALL) Hard hitting and intense rivalry led to a late inning victory for the North State Flood over the #19 ranked Natural Disasters. Battling nightfall and mid-game rule changes, the North State Flood came out on top in a 24 - 22 squeaker, to bring the Flood to 6 and 1 and ranked 8th out of the 177 teams in the Congressional Softball League.

“Winning is everything. I told [Flood Pitcher Lance] “Salad” [Leggitt] to sweep the leg and that’s what happened,” reported Flood Coach Bert English in an obvious reference to an incident involving a Disaster’s co-ed’s trip to the local Emergency Room after a homeplate collision. “While it wasn’t pretty, we won and that’s what really matters.”

The Flood set the tone for the game with a unrivaled tenacity with two 1st inning homeruns from Greg “Play it off the tree” Rodriguez, and a pair of homers from Chris “Inspector Gadget’s Glove” Jackson and Eric “Rookie” McGlothlin. According to Yahoo StatTracker, Flood homeruns accounted for 11 of the 24 overall runs and 17 RBI’s. “Damn,” remarked “Mean” Gene Glowatch, “that’s what I can pulling it back and letting it go.”

“It’s a simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball,” exclaimed Flood catcher Meghan “Bulldog” Curran. “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains. You gotta think about that for a second.” And think we will. Early game appearances by veteran substitute Stacey “I throw harder than Jim” Kaplan led to a Flood rally. But the Disasters were not to be counted out.

Minor throwing and fielding errors by the Flood defense combined with great hitting prowess brought the Disasters to within 2 runs late in the 5th inning. Miscommunication between "Salad" Leggitt and Flood Pitching Coach "Funny Bone" Paulson led to greater disarray. "Chill the [explative] out," said Paulson. "No, two more outs," clarified Leggitt. After a critically missed call by both Disaster umpires on a beautiful tag by Veteran 2nd Basewoman Lise “E-4” Lyman, the Disasters tied the game at 19 a piece.

More misery befell the Flood in the bottom of the 6th inning on a crucial opportunity to take the lead again. “If only I weren’t caught running like a little girl in the summer, picking flowers and dancing this way and that on my way to 3rd Base, we might have been in the lead,” exclaimed Ryan “Not Enough Beer” Travis.

Then the impossible happened. Top of the 7th inning, the Disasters took the lead 22-21. Disaster’s Head Coach Yier “North State Flood” Shi said of his team’s lead, “I’m just happy to have the opportunity to play. Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, we may all be able to hold hands together after the game.”

In response, Flood 1st Baseman Jason “UPS” Brown sharply criticized fellow Ose staffer, “what [Yier] means to say is that we are going to kick his butt into submission. Like a fat kid on a see-saw, he’s going down.” To further reiterate his point, UPS Brown turned green, ripped out of his clothes and knocked down a tree with his bare hands to the amazement of camera-laden tourists traversing the National Mall.

True to his word, the Flood rallied in the bottom of the 7th inning with a shallow fly ball by Kaplan for a tough out, but moving the outfielders out of position, dangerously close to the infield. The overconfidence of the Disasters’ outfield led to a quick homerun by G-Rodriguez and an easy single for Jackson. With all of the pressure mounting, Adam “Page” Paulson found himself in the situation every child dreams about and every major leaguer fears: bottom of the final inning, two outs, and the winning run on 1st.

“Disaster this”, cried Paulson as he hit the cover off the ball, simultaneously ripping both of his pectoral muscles in a brilliant flash of lightning to win the game.

Cowbells and cheers erupting like a clap of thunder down the Mall, as Paulson and Jackson rounded the bases hand in hand, like two friends, who are completely and totally not involved in any sort of intimate sexual relationship. “They are definitely not engaging in sexual congress with each other,” reported Kristen “Tardy” Steinke. "I'm pretty sure that Jackson is seeing a girl and not [Adam]," cried Dan "Bringer of the Bat" MacLean.

There was much rejoicing in Muddville Memorial Stadium. “I’m just glad to have my girls there to see us win. They said, ‘Papa hit’ and that’s just what I did” expressed Jim “I have twins” Kaplan.

Special thanks go out to Intern John “Intern John” for saving the field, “Ferguson The Waiter” at My Brother’s Place for forgetting Brown’s wings, yet still bringing us beer, and special recognition for Heather “Deep Throat” Lyons for being an outstanding human being. Also big thanks to our regular cheerleaders and general support team, Cowbell Annie and Dirty Harry for all their cheering.

Next game is at 6:30pm on Thursday, June 19, 2003 against #20 ranked Boehnerland (Rep. John Boehner) on the Mall between 4th and 7th Streets.

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

FLOOD VICTORY - North State Flood Triumphs Over Disasterous Nature Freaks 24-22 - More to come!

Monday, June 16, 2003


Tonight's Game against the Natural Disasters will be played at 6:30PM on the Mall on the East Side of 7th Street. Look for fellow team members there. Call Bert w/ any questions: 703.919.2708.

We have a game tonight against the Natural Disasters. This is a make-up game from last week when they were scared of a flooding due to heavy rains. Game time 6:30PM. Field location will be announced as soon as I get back from the Mall. -- BERT

Thursday, June 12, 2003

GAME PREVIEW: Intern John is braving the scorching heat and is holding a field at the Washington Monument.

It is on the Lincoln Memorial side of the Monument next to the small cement plaque. We played on this exact field three weeks ago against the Urban Legends. Intern John is wearing blue basketball shorts and a white tee shirt.

Let's get there as close to 6:15 as possible so we can start by 6:30. Current weather forecasts show light rain at 8, followed by heavy heavy rain by 9. Or in other words, there is a FLOOD warning in low lying areas tonight.

If you have not confirmed your presence for tonight's game, please let me know. -- BERT
UPDATE: We are coming to you live with Bert's weather forecast...Fellow Flood, I'm not going to lie to you, but we have nothing but sunshine on our way. That said, we are going to have a lot of rain sweep through the city in the next half hour. There are currently two storms, one to the north and one to the south, both of which will miss the city. We are going to have a bit of precip and the radar shows nothing behind it.
You will be happy to know that Intern John has tied himself to a tree and is otherwise hunkered down. His last known words are, "we better damn well play if I'm going to [explative deleted] [explative deleted] sit on this [explative deleted] field." Who among you can argue with that logic? GAME ON

Wednesday, June 11, 2003


Flood--this is your friendly neighborhood reminder that we have a game tomorrow against the Natural Disasters. For those of you keeping tally with the grudges, this team is led by one Yier "Benedict Arnold" Shi, a three-year former Flooder who recently formed his own team after being cut from the Flood this year as the result of an incident with an underaged goat selling drugs to children on school property across state lines.

Bring your softball stuff and practice your game faces. Michelle, I expect to see signs to go with the cow bell...

As soon as we have a field location tomorrow, we'll send out an e-mail. If anyone has interns or would like to volunteer to help reserve a field for an hour or so throughout the day, it would be appreciated and maybe even mentioned in the much heralded Post Game Writeup.

Monday, June 09, 2003

(WASHINGTON, D.C.-THE MALL) - The North State Flood suffered their first loss of the year against the three-time Congressional Softball League Champions, Suspension of the Rules in a 27-23 squeaker in the final innings. The Flood are now 5 - 1 for the season and are ranked 17th out of 176 teams in the Congressional League, dropping 16 spots after having led the League for the first seven weeks.

"Of course I was disappointed with the loss. What kind of stupid monkey butt question is that?" remarked Flood Coach and General Manger Adam "Coach" Paulson. "It was a close game and we'll take [them] in the playoffs."

The Flood displayed a tremendous defensive effort in the first two innings, only allowing 4 runs, while quickly outpacing the Suspension in runs. "We hit it were they weren't," claimed Olympic Gold Softball Medallist, Lise "I like to smile" Lynam. Building on her teammate's comments, Jennifer "I can buy and sell you now" Biggy responded, "I still like to watch the long ball run and that's what we do best."

True to her comments, the Flood managed to hit a handful of homeruns in the first two innings alone, thanks to Greg "Shibby" Rodriguez, Gene "I bat behind Bert" Glowatch, and Chris "that was at least 314 feet" Jackson.

In a surprising move, Coach Paulson sat Lance "SARS" Leggitt at the last minute and allowed veteran softballer Matt "Pentagon" Witting to take hurling duties. While Suspension did manage to eek a few lucky hits, Pentagon dropped his balls across the plate with increasing frequency, even striking out a girl who had never played softball before. "Gosh, Pentagon Witting stepped in with a tenacity I have not seen since the days of a young Cassius Clay," remarked all-star catcher nominee Meghan "Psycho Eyes" Curran.

After leading 17-4 to start the third inning, the Flood suffered a few minor setbacks in the field. "Ok, so they scored 14 runs on us, we can get it back," remarked eternal optimist Michelle "Cow Bell Annie" Barlow. Unfortunately, it was not to be. The Flood had a bit of difficulty in getting an out or two, leading to a small yet insurmountable lead for the latter innings. As dark was setting in on the nation's capitol, the Flood remained down by 5 runs.

Late hitting rallies by Kristen "one knee" Steinke and Michele "One L" Gordon toyed with the heartstrings of Team Flood, but it was all for naught. "To see that last out drop into their glove, cut me to the core," exclaimed Dan "Coors Light" MacLean as he wiped his eyes in what can only be described as a manly non-crying fashion. "Bring on the Natural Disasters. We'll show them what it means to have a Flood warning!"

The Flood's next scheduled game is against the archrival Natural Disasters, coached by Rep. Ose staffer Yier "Horatio Gates" Shi, at 6:30pm on Thursday June 12th on the Mall between 4th and 7th Street. After game dinner and drinks will be held at My Brother's Place.

Post from Heather Lyons --
Bert, I do not feel that you can safely say that next weeks game will be played on the Mall between 4th and 7th. As you know, "unwritten rules" state that the field goes to the first two teams to be at the field with ALL of their players. This is regardless of the fact that you may have had a random tourist who doesn't speak a lick of English (ha ha, no pun intended) watching over the field since sunrise for you OR that you have had a dedicated team member sitting with all of the equipment on the field since, well, since before the stinking tourist (or intern who never once in FOUR hours looked up). Being that this is "unwritten in stone" you should advise the team to meet at a specific field location at 8am. -- Heather

Friday, June 06, 2003

2003 North State Flood Team Pictures
- Click on Link for Photos
6/5/03 - Team Picture - (NSF vs. Suspension of the Rules)

North State Flood - Softball Organization - The First Blog
Thank you for logging on to the North State Flood (NSF) website on the Internet. NSF is a roughly 35 member participating team in the Congressional Baseball League in Washington, D.C. The NSF was founded over three years ago by Congressional staffers from the offices of Representative Wally Herger (CA-2) and Representative Doug Ose (CA-3). Since that time the team has grown to its current size, and branched out to many different on and off-Hill offices.

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